Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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