No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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