so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't deserve a penis
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize