i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Randomize
