I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
