dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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