Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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