i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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