So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
