I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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