You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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