My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
