my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
