just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize