I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is Oprah even human
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
