I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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