I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
