I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
