If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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