you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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