Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
