i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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