i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
