it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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