where does the pee come out of this thing
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
