Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
