I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
