Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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