Where are you?
In a non slutty way
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
