I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
