well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
