She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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