Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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