so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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