wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
