i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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