felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize