You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need water and some morals
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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