Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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