apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
