What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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