Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Couch. On fire.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize