This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
