the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
