these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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