the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
