Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
