I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
