Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
