Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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