dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
