i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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