So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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