then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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