Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i now understand why vodka
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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