i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
